The Power of Slow

I’ve been thinking of taking a stand on rephrasing the maxim, “Patience is a virtue,” to “Patience is THE virtue.”  Now, it’s not in my nature to be too dogmatic about anything, but please be patient and hear me out.  In my mind, patience is the virtue that gives rise to all of the others, and is so much more than the don’t-be-hasty adage of old.  While there is great wisdom in this adage, the true nature of patience is embodied in the more wide sweeping practice of judicious restraint of reaction under stress.  Restraint comes in many forms, and I tack on the modifier “judicious” because in some aspects we are required to know when enough is enough.  I use the term stress as opposed to suffering because all suffering is stress but not all stress is suffering, and the difference lies in the perspective of the individual.

Delay:

Reaction to a stimulus is often called a reflex.  The term itself indicates that the response can be liked to a muscle contraction; “flex.”  Our bodies, all of our physiology included, have systems that can be thought to behave in the broader sense like our muscular system.  Some of these systems involve thoughts, desires, cognition and volition.  Others occur autonomously with or without our will.  All of these systems modulate each other, and some in ways that are still yet unknown.  Insomuch as we are beings that have physical nerves and physical manifestations of emotions there is a good basis for using this model to help us understand the importance for this “meta”-physical concept.  It is less important at this stage to understand the mechanisms, although the understanding of which could be really informative, but that the interaction of these systems be clear is paramount.

Using the model of musculature and applying it to our psychological systems introduces this idea of developing self-control in much the same way that we exercise our bodies.  Exercising patience, judicious self-restraint, represents the larger set of practices that strengthen our character and help us maintain our mental hygiene.  Exercising patience is crucial in all aspects of our development, and is so ubiquitous that often we don’t recognize it.  Take for example the experience of urgency when needing to use the washroom.  Does one just wet themself? Or is learning to control one’s bladder essential for well-being?  Is it no wonder that all religions have some form of “spiritual” practice that requires the participant to exercise self-restraint?  Some easy ones that come to mind are: Fasting – patience in hunger, Yoga – patience in physical discomfort, Prayer or meditation – patience of mind and cognition.  Some of the numerous puritanical virtues that require patience as a basis are: faith – patience in doubt, chastity – patience in sexuality, courage – patience of fear, temperance – patience in desire, virtue – patience of mind, compassion – patience of egocentricity.

Now I realize that I’m rehashing the many philosophical arguments of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, The Stoics, and virtually every prominent philosopher of every era in regards to the ideas of prudence, virtue, patience, restraint, etc. etc.  In restating this argument I hope to bring awareness to this idea that often goes overlooked, especially in regards to making a conscious effort to cultivate patience in our everyday lives.  The difference in my argument is in stating that these “meta-physical” concepts are actually physically based and tied up in our physiology. The importance in making that distinction lies in the fact that the practice of patience is an endocrine exercise that is required, in its many forms, for optimal function and well being in any individual.

In bringing awareness to this concept, hopefully those who previously thought they were not patient people can take some pride in knowing that something as simple as not wetting oneself contradicts that notion and can change that attitude.  In fact, because of its ubiquity, patience can be found in nearly every process one engages in and therefore can be cultivated more fruitfully.  Every practice is different, but each has transitive effects that lend themselves to becoming more dignified and more mature individuals capable of coping honorably with the many stresses and sufferings that we engage in life.

Suffering:

It is now a logical extension of the idea of patience to examine the context in which we find it exercised.  It seems that, by in large, patience is required, in some degree, in any situation where stress is encountered.  As creatures of our environment we are responding to many stimuli both external and internal, constantly.  Where we are now as individuals and as a species is the result of a gazillion years of evolution.  It needs to be understood, then, that there is no such thing as the nature VS nurture argument.  The reality is that we are the products of both nature (genes) AND nurture (our environment).  That said, the sum total of our nature and our nurture show that we are built to respond to stimuli and cope with stress.  It’s as if our nature has evolved dependent upon the fact that in order to be successful beings we are required to become conditioned by the environment in which we are nurtured.  What this means is that we require stress and, in a sense, suffering in order to become our optimal selves.  Suffering is part of the human experience.

This can be interpreted in a few of ways, all of which are valid in their appropriate context but must be understood as conditional.  Stress and suffering are good because they offer the opportunity for growth in the form of mental exercise.  Our life is not fair; therefore unequal uncontrollable suffering is bound to happen and there is little that we can do about it.  Accepting that one must experience uncontrollable suffering and facing it without recoil represents one of the greatest spiritual practices in which one can engage, no matter how small.  Because some suffering is good, it may not be in the best interest of a suffering individual to receive intervention from a charitable source, and can have developmentally stunting consequences.  Good judgment must be used to know one’s boundaries and when enough is enough.  Although, part of what makes suffering so excruciating psychologically is uncertainty of purpose and duration, there is no shame in seeking to end suffering once one’s limits have been exceeded.  To quote Viktor Frankl, “Is this to say that suffering is indispensable to the discovery of meaning? In no way. I only insist that meaning is available in spite of—nay, even through—suffering, provided… that the suffering is unavoidable. If it is avoidable, the meaningful thing to do is to remove its cause, for unnecessary suffering is masochistic rather than heroic. If, on the other hand, one cannot change a situation that causes his suffering, he can still choose his attitude.”

There is so much to say and think about in regards to suffering and stress that entire volumes can be filled and the subject exhausted to no end.  In opening this discussion it is hoped that the content will stimulate the reader with good ideas, although they may only be such. That the subject matter may be of use to the reader is implicit, however, the author acknowledges the imperfections and flaws in reasoning and the impermanence of his own opinion.

Dignity:

In closing, it is the subject of attitude that I wish to tackle next.  Patience, in general, is unpleasant to say the least.  But given the number of factors that we can control in our practice of patience, attitude is the foremost in my mind.  Changing one’s attitude is easier said than done.  To start, it helps to understand that a good attitude is not always a positive one, but it is an honest one.  Being honest with oneself requires taking a mental inventory of the situation and removing illusive components from the picture. It often helps to attempt to view our situation outside of the lens of desire.  The next step may be to evaluate the role of the stress and appreciate it for what it is worth.  Understanding of the opportunity available through the process is helpful.  “Never let a good crisis go to waste.”

Another step in the process comes in the form of honoring oneself.  This, I believe, is the most important.  We are often unaware of the potential of our capacity to withstand trauma and suffering.  Acknowledging that we do not yet see the whole purpose because we do not know all of the facts, can cultivate hope that we will come out better than we went in.  Trusting your own strength and daring to fail is the courage and dignity to be had that is the capstone of the experience.  We are just explorers of the unknown, charting the unknown depths of our psyche.  The process is uncomfortable, but we will find our boundaries, and by challenging them we can discover their plasticity.  Dare to feel.  Dare to connect to the human experience.  You are not alone.  Know thyself.

When I started writing this piece, I had the idea that I would highlight practices of note that help me in cultivating patience.  Such practices in my mind are like cross-training the nervous and emotional systems and would therefore confer benefit for times of struggle.  At this point I am all typed out, and I will limit myself to explaining just one.

I have a friend who, when I drive, likes to point out that we are not in a hurry to get anywhere. “Drive with aloha,” he says.  It’s cliché, in a sense, when said by anyone who has never lived in Hawaii, like he has.  When I think about it, I question why it is that we are in such a hurry all of the time.  We are programmed by the culture of speed that things need to be done immediately, places arrived to on time, and deadlines met.  We are so competitive.  Is driving five miles per hour faster than the person next to me on the road, shaving minutes off my commute, really going to benefit me?  Is it the end of the world that I am two minutes late?  In reality, I still drive faster when I’m late.  But restraining the sense of urgency that I get when I travel, appointment or no, at least gives me a sense that I am being safer and helps me feel some pride in myself that I am capable of slowing down, being courteous to other drivers, being patient.  It also has the added benefit of returning my awareness to the present so I can just be at peace.  It is still mentally taxing somewhat to slow down, but it is getting easier to cope with the more that I do it.  That in my mind is the power of slow. (Yes! I substantiated that adjective. Get over it!)

The Meaning of Suffering

The following is an excerpt from Viktor Frankl's Man's Search For Meaning. It may not fit snuggly within the content of this blog which is geared toward a more Zen-like philosophy of existence and well-being. But I feel that there is power in the observations and anecdotes made here. I am not going to argue here for or against the validity, or nuances thereof, of the views of this author. Rather I am going to highlight the portions that to me have significance, even though that significance may be outside of the implication that the author expresses.

"We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation— just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer —we are challenged to change ourselves.

"Let me cite a clear-cut example: Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now, how could I help him? What should I tell him? Well, I refrained from telling him anything but instead confronted him with the question, "What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?" "Oh," he said, "for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!" Whereupon I replied, "You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering—to be sure, at the price that now you have to survive and mourn her." He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

"Of course, this was no therapy in the proper sense since, first, his despair was no disease; and second, I could not change his fate; I could not revive his wife. But in that moment I did succeed in changing his attitude toward his unalterable fate inasmuch as from that time on he could at least see a meaning in his suffering. It is one of the basic tenets of logotherapy that man's main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but rather to see a meaning in his life. That is why man is even ready to suffer, on the condition, to be sure, that his suffering has a meaning.

"But let me make it perfectly clear that in no way is suffering necessary to find meaning. I only insist that meaning is possible even in spite of suffering—provided, certainly, that the suffering is unavoidable. If it were avoidable, however, the meaningful thing to do would be to remove its cause, be it psychological, biological or political. To suffer unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.

"Edith Weisskopf-Joelson, before her death professor of psychology at the University of Georgia, contended, in her article on logotherapy, that "our current mental-hygiene philosophy stresses the idea that people ought to be happy, that unhappiness is a symptom of maladjustment. Such a value system might be responsible for the fact that the burden of unavoidable unhappiness is increased by unhappiness about being unhappy."  And in another paper she expressed the hope that  logotherapy "may help counteract certain unhealthy trends in the present-day culture of the United States, where the incurable sufferer is given very little opportunity to be proud of his suffering and to consider it ennobling rather than degrading" so that "he is not only unhappy, but also ashamed of being unhappy."

"There are situations in which one is cut off from the opportunity to do one's work or to enjoy one's life; but what never can be ruled out is the unavoidability of suffering. In accepting this challenge to suffer bravely, life has a meaning up to the last moment, and it retains this meaning literally to the end. In other words, life's meaning is an unconditional one, for it even includes the potential meaning of unavoidable suffering. Let me recall that which was perhaps the deepest experience I had in the concentration camp. The odds of surviving the camp were no more than one in twenty-eight, as can easily be verified by exact statistics. It did not even seem possible, let alone probable, that the manuscript of my first book, which I had hidden in my coat when I arrived at Auschwitz, would ever be rescued. Thus, I had to undergo and to overcome the loss of my mental child. And now it seemed as if nothing and no one would survive me; neither a physical nor a mental child of my own! So I found myself confronted with the question whether under such circumstances my life was ultimately void of any meaning.

"Not yet did I notice that an answer to this question with which I was wrestling so passionately was already in store for me, and that soon thereafter this answer would be given to me. This was the case when I had to surrender my clothes and in turn inherited the worn-out rags of an inmate who had already been sent to the gas chamber immediately after his arrival at the Auschwitz railway station. Instead of the many pages of my manuscript, I found in a pocket of the newly acquired coat one single
page torn out of a Hebrew prayer book, containing the most important Jewish prayer, Shema Yisrael. How should I have interpreted such a "coincidence" other than as a challenge to live my thoughts instead of merely putting them on paper?

"A bit later, I remember, it seemed to me that I would die in the near future. In this critical situation, however, my concern was different from that of most of my comrades. Their question was, "Will we survive the camp? For, if not, all this suffering has no meaning." The question which beset me was, "Has all this suffering, this dying around us, a meaning? For, if not, then ultimately there is no meaning to survival; for a life whose meaning depends upon such a happenstance—as whether one escapes or not —ultimately would not be worth living at all."

It seems quite apparent that current mental-hygiene does emphasize incorrectly that in order to be well, one must always be happy. This, I believe, is the greatest cause of unnecessary mental distress, that stifles our ability to cope with our environment and drives us to flee our unhappiness rather than cope with it on our own terms. Such distress drives us to medicate rather than to meditate. Whether or not you believe that existentialism is the meaning to be found, it is quite apparent that our culture is rife with faulty ideals and tools for mental-hygiene. It is also clear that modern medications may have therapeutic value but fail to actually solve the problem. There is no longevity in such solutions and may also contribute to exacerbating the problem, insomuch as resolution is sought through means of avoidance. (I mean treating the symptoms rather than the cause.)

Let me be clear, however, that I am not advocating against the use of modern therapeutics and medications, but rather that the approach sought in such a practice of allopathy is management rather than healing, and as such is an incomplete practice. What I mean is that as a society we fail ourselves by continuing to perpetuate mental illness by pedaling ideas and maxims that are half-truths at best along with half-solutions and selling them as if they were complete. Is it no wonder that our problems aren't solved?

Divine symmetry

To you I am connected
Bound through kinship deep
Our souls reach toward each other
Longing to be complete

As I feel your pain you feel me
We blindly search for meaning
Because we do not understand
What it means to be

We've danced this dance before
This isn't our first time.
As our hearts reach out we clasp
And bond with sacred symmetry

Sometimes when I'm alone
I surrender my heart high
I close my eyes to darkness
And deep within, you shine

Humbled, I'm reminded
The light you've given me
I'll return with honor
In your time of need

While the future is uncertain
Of this I can be sure
To you I am connected
For you my heart endures.

Dirtbag Manifesto

Every sport has the iconic die-hard grand masters that absolutely love what they do.  They are the climbing dirtbags, the ski and snowboard bums, the surfer bums. They spend nearly all of their time doing their sport, living on the road, living in their vans and sleeping under the piers. They don’t have a rent, don’t own a shirt and tie, aren’t tied to a day job, and sometimes don’t even know where their next meal is going to come from.  And while they seemingly don’t have a “life direction” or some false sense of security that their pay is secure and their supermarket meal is always there, these are the people who are content to have nothing and live every moment of life to its fullest.

How is it that these people, living on the fringe of existence, seemingly have nothing and everything at the same time?!  They stand defiant, waving their fist at society’s promises of longevity, security, happiness, and a promise of “retirement.”  What is their secret?  Is it that these people are free? Monetarily speaking the answer is no. They don’t own nice things, and they can hardly afford gas money to get around. How is it that they can be so damn fulfilled?  They are the rebels against the American dream, having already attained their happiness and still have time left over to enjoy it too.

Is it even that their passion for their sport gives them more happiness or more enjoyment than those who participate casually or with slightly less neuroticism?  I would again say that the answer is no.  These people thrive in the most extreme times when no normal or sane person could possibly enjoy another set, another turn, or another pitch.  That is not fun, I don’t care who you are, no matter how much you claim to love what you do. So at least in part it seems the peak experience of the dirtbag is no greater than that of the layperson.

The secret to their happiness lies not in better quality of experience, but rather in greater satisfaction they draw from lower quality experiences.  The last run of the day where all there is left to ski are moguls, the last died out set of waves as the tide rolls out, the last outdoor climb of the season as the snow starts rolling in, are all the types of poorer quality experiences that most people are happy to miss out on. Yet here come the dirtbags just as excited as ever, enjoying every moment as if THIS was the best run of their lives.

The difference here is the embodiment of what I am calling the Lo-Fi movement.  You guessed it.  Lo-Fi is short for Low Fidelity. (And no, we’re not talking about relationships here)  Low fidelity described the sound quality of the technology recording performances by the likes of Louis Armstrong and Duke Elington, whose mastery in performance contrasted so ironically to the arbitrarily “low” quality playback of recording devices of the era.  Lo-Fi is the forgotten child of yesteryear, born out of a need to delineate a difference between it and what was considered “better’ or High Fidelity.  Before improvements in technology came along everything already was Lo-Fi, but people didn’t bitch about it.  Once Hi-Fi came on the scene, however, people just couldn’t wait to get their hands on the latest and greatest.

The paradigm shift for the Lo-Fi movement occurs as an attitude change that stems from a realization that “modern” society, whose capitalist underpinnings drive the disease of materialism and the vocal absurdity that is aptly named marketing, fails to bring the happiness that it promises to provide.  It’s not that the system is broken either, it never worked in the first place!  I'm not just talking about democracy here, rather, those who equate democracy and capitalism and are incapable of experiencing the happiness they are in pursuit of. They spend all their time chasing the carrot, running on the hamster wheel, not realizing that the search for higher quality experiences and higher quality things is an exercise in futility.  This is where the dirtbags shine. What they have realized isn’t that the happiness comes from inanimate things or even objects but that happiness is a choice and it come from within.  The realization of fulfillment in life comes after learning that your expectations cannot meet your needs unless your needs meet your expectations.

Am I arguing that everyone needs to lower their expectations and standards in order to be happy? Yes and no.  If you fail to engage reality on a timeframe exclusive of the past then you run the risk of having your desires mismatch your satisfaction (that means don’t judge anything, including yourself, too harshly! You never know the full story…)  We are all slaves in our society, but society knows that it cannot control us and yet we do not deny it control.  Its power comes solely from the credence we lend to it and the desires it says we should have.  In the words of Bob Marley, “none but ourselves can free our minds.”  It doesn’t matter where you stand in society, top, bottom, front, or back, the question remains. Do your desires control you, or do you control your desires?

Lo-Fi Declaration:

I’m not claiming that I have all of the answers, but I am fed up with the stupidity of materialism and I’m sick and tired of striving, striving for something, to be something or someone better than what is in front of me right now!  I revel in the perfection of my imperfection! I am going to appreciate every moment I have and enjoy everything that I can as if it’s my new favorite hobby. I am going to secretly rage against the broken system and stand on the fringe telling anyone who will listen. I am going to appreciate every deep and dark emotion that wells up inside of me just because I can, and stand along side of those who are just as jaded and disappointed in the lies we’ve been taught on TV.  I am going to be excited to be alive, to do what I love, and love what I do.  I am going to treasure the quality of all things outside of the metric of my own desires. I will be happy to be free, and free to be happy!

Update:

I'm taking the subject of this post and dedicating it to a new blog HERE: It will consist of essays and anecdotes about all things dirtbag. If you would like to make a contribution, I would love to work with you on publishing it. Contact me via email: mikeminson at gmail!