The First Time

Let me just start by saying that I really like thought experiments. Even more, I like thoughts that provoke me to change myself for the better. Because I like to be thorough, and I have a scientific background, I have fun thinking about the math behind a given argument. So I use the language of math to be more explicit in framing the thoughts. If you are not a math person, please bear with me.

Your happiness, it has been said, is equal to the ratio of your Satisfactions and your Desires.

From this formula you can find two approaches to becoming infinitely happy (Read completely happy). The first approach says that if your satisfaction is much greater than your desire then you can get close to approaching infinite happiness. {What is a limit?}

You can see here that this approach is contingent upon becoming infinitely satisfied, where the number or quantity of your satisfaction goes to infinity faster than your desires do.  The only person that could do that is God. This must be why God is so happy! (s)he is the richest (wo)man in the universe!

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Finally! A Formula for Exaltation!

Right!?!?

It is hard to believe that this particular type of approach could even be feasible given the human condition; the more we have, the more that we want. This is evident in the anecdote of the rich man who, with all the money one could ever dream of, attempts to buy himself happiness. His number of possessions grows innumerably and each one of his possessions provides him with fleeting satisfaction. Why is it that he can never seem to be happy (he has so many things)? Because his number of possessions, successes, and satisfactions grow at essentially the same pace as his desires do.

(Watch out…Here come the Jesus quotes)**

In comparison to infinite happiness, one just seems pretty close to none.  What this brings to mind is the young prince who asked Jesus how to get to heaven.

“I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” {Matthew 19:23-24} {Click here to read more about this}

(Here I do draw parallel between infinite happiness, and getting to heaven, or being exalted, although I do concede that, if you believe in such things, to you they may not be exactly the same thing. Although “getting” to heaven has always conjured up infinite happiness in my mind).

So where does that leave us? The first approach, getting happy by accumulation of satisfaction, doesn’t seem to work very well since we are not immune to wanting more and more and more. The illusion of this mindset manifests itself in two prominent thought habits. The first is the tendency to strive for continual satisfaction by perpetually seeking out higher quality experiences, accomplishments, and possessions; possibly giving rise to [Snob]. The second tendency is the thought that happiness can be bestowed upon one who is “worthy,” without effecting some transformation by one’s own accord. Those that believe in “getting to heaven” view this first tendency as sinful behavior because of its inability to delay gratification. They more often than not are engulfed in the idea of heaven as a place or destination where some higher being bestows eternal gratification as a result of living in a manner that scrutinizes in just which particular pleasures in life one may partake.

Both of those two approaches strive for happiness in a most ineffective manner, one rooted in the past, attached to a previous metric that defines the level of pleasure one can draw from current experience, and the other rooted in the future immersed in a pious self denial for hope of eternal glory. Let’s delay no further, then, in analyzing the second and simpler approach to the happiness equation. Simply stated, eliminating your desires can provide complete happiness.

Viola! The virtue in this approach is that it is founded on the present moment. That is, if, in this moment, you can limit your desire then you can be completely happy. This does take a considerable amount of mental force to accomplish, but as with any exercise the muscle of your will grows with repeated use. Desires here are not in any way synonymous with needs, you need not have everything that you need to be happy so don’t wait! Wave a kiss goodbye to Maslow.

This approach is not dependent on some higher being bestowing a change upon you, or granting you infinite access to the universe or whatever, this is you taking control of yourself. You can change yourself. Complete happiness is yours for the taking. No dogma, no illusions. Consider, however, that this happiness, regardless of completeness, is not permanent. Why? Because it is only in the present moment that you can be completely happy. Continuation of this happiness is dependent upon continuing to bring awareness to your happiness again and again, every waking moment. I hate to break it to you, but happiness is work and discipline! (maybe this is why it is easier to settle into an I’ll-wait-‘til-God-does-it-for-me attitude) But with practice you can become a mental ninja. It does get easier.

Here is one practice that I have learned recently to really help shift our focus away from our desires:

Pretend for a moment that whatever you are doing right now you are doing it for the very first time.

Stop.

Do it.

This is the first breathe of air that you have breathed. Pay attention to it. Enjoy it! Let it fill you deeply. Become the breath. Next time you take a bite of something, remember that it is the first time that you have ever tasted anything before. Let yourself become absorbed in the whole experience! Next time you pet an animal, or visit a garden, or walk barefoot on the grass, or smell a flower. In these instances or moments of pretending, pretend to be like a little child who has never had the delight of experience that you are having. The profundities of the shift in reality that you feel in those moments will help effect a change from mundane to divine. Another Jesus quote,

“And said, Verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven (read “be completely happy”).” {Matthew 18:1-6}

Why become a little child? Because little children have no prejudices, no previous past experiences that tell them that what they are experiencing is of some undesirable quality. Because little children who are untainted from their past also have no fear, and aside from their basic needs they have no desires. Little children learn, in the purest sense, from their own experiences, have no thoughts of the future that distract from their current state, and are completely invested mentally in the present moment. Obviously I am speaking of the ideal “little child” here, but with this picture in mind you can envision yourself taking in life’s experiences just as wholly.

Finally consider the fact that even though an experience isn’t new, that doesn’t mean that we have never experienced it quite like we are experiencing it now. The real mental discipline required for happiness is in increasing our capacity to appreciate the quality of the experience that is given to us now.

** I hesitate to quote the bible here because I disagree with the dogma surrounding the tenets of Christianity. I would like to point out that Jesus was a great thinker even though much of what he said is just a repeat of what loads of great thinkers before him have said. But my purpose in using biblical quotes, I am hoping, is to show how there is a duality of interpretations in what he said, and that viewing the philosophy from the opposing perspective will help to cut through the illusion of what motivates current dominant religious piety.

Quantity VS Quality

We’ve all done it, turned our noses up when something presents itself as mundane, simple, ordinary or not glamorous enough for our tastes. Like the coffee snob who refuses to drink Folgers, the music snob who refuses to enjoy pop music, or the climber who refuses to climb the local choss-pile, we are all guilty to some extent of prejudices that deny us the ability to enjoy what has been placed in front of us in the Here and Now.

Now I’m not saying that it’s bad, at all, to have an opinion or a preference. The problem arises when, in light of being given the choice between what we consider sub-par and nothing, we express distaste, chose nothing, and then feel as if we are victims to not having had a better option. This circumstance is what I will call the [Snob experience].

Let me be the first to say that just because we may often have [Snob] we are not bad people, although [Snob] may make us feel bad. [Snob] is quite common and arises primarily from a mental trap of mismatching quality and quantity. (Based on the law of averages, half of all of our experiences will provide a basic situation that can lead to [Snob]). Because we are human beings who experience life sequentially we learn from experiences that one thing leads to another, cause and affect, if-then, sequential reasoning. As a result we use past experience to judge preferentially and make choices. Indeed, judicious choices are crucial for our own survival. The quantity of our experiences, however, leads us to continually desire higher and higher quality experiences.

Attachment to the quality of past experiences leads us to value the learning of the past so much that we place expectations on things. Think of a child who experiences eating a cookie for the first time. Exclamation! The novelty, the exquisite flavors, the sweetness, and the desirability of that cookie! It doesn’t matter what the quality of this cookie was at that time, all that matters to that child is the enjoyment in that moment. But now this experience will lead this child to judge the next cookie by the metric of past experience. This is where [Snob] begins. The metric of past experience can be both a tool, and crutch.

This metric system created from the quantity of experiences give us a strong cohesiveness to human experience through which we can navigate safely and securely. This gives rise to a progressive seeking of higher quality experience based on the quantity to which we’ve been exposed. What are we after? A better cup of coffee, better beer, a better job, better sex, a better thrill, you name it. Past experience is a great tool but the disadvantages of it are many; one, that it can give us a false sense of security leaving us vulnerable to spontaneity, two, it can quickly lead to a mental quality burnout like a drug addict who needs more and more to get the same effect, and three [Snob]. This is where the mental trap begins (if we get stuck in this mindset, the mental burnout will inevitably lead to a continually increasing number of our experiences that trigger [Snob]). 

One of my favorite movie quotes:

“...expect the unexpected. Right? Right? Always sounds like good advice. Except, of course, if you are expecting the unexpected, then well then it really isn't really unexpected anymore. Is it? And that leaves you vulnerable to the truly unexpected. Because, you're not expecting it.”

[Snob] happens primarily when we are rooted in the past. What makes [Snob] feel so bad is not the past experience but rather the desire for a better option. So quality and quantity are not even really at odds. It is the expectation that we deserve the greater quality than what is available that is inherently untrue and the source of our discomfort. We've unravelled the mental mismatch.

I feel that two realizations are important for us to overcome [Snob]. First, there are no ordinary moments. Everything that we experience can, and indeed does, teach us something about ourselves and about life. What that lesson is, is determined by the student and the accompanying attention and intention given to that moment. Every moment deserves our full attention and a desire to experience it fully. Better stated, we deserve to appreciate (in every sense of the word) the experience. (This is the truth which is usually confused in the [Snob] scenario. We do deserve to appreciate the experience presented to us, but we must choose to enjoy it, actively, instead of incorrectly thinking that because the quality is less than expected that we will not enjoy it). How we do this is by being grateful for the opportunity presented to us, and by adopting a beginner’s mind, like the child with their first cookie. So how do you truly expect the unexpected? By letting go of expectations, removing the word “should” from you vocabulary, realizing that you can’t change your circumstances but you can change yourself. This brings us to realization number two.

The second realization is that we are equal and opposite forces to the experiences that we engage in. Life doesn’t just happen to us, we happen to life. Using this knowledge empowers you to take control of your own attitude and seize the moment before it seizes you. If in a fit of [Snob] you feel that you deserve better than the option offered to you, ponder that perhaps it is you whom the option is better than. Finally, detach yourself from the past. Impose your positivity and appreciation on the present and determine to be the actor and not the acted upon.

Actively using these two realizations cuts through the illusion of a false sense of security, AND the accompanying dismay when we are wrong. This further frees us to embrace the moment, avoid quality burnout, and be free of the burden of [Snob]. If you find yourself relapsing into [Snob] (believe me, we all will), remember this lesson and remember that the [Snob] is already in the past, nothing prevents you from overcoming it right now.

Climbing and risk

I read an elegant argument for the value that risk brings to the climbing experience. I find this especially pertinent since I just finished reading a book about mental training for climbers by Arno Ilgner entitled, "The Rock Warrior's Way," which uses the robust 'warrior doctrine' for examining engaging risk as a means for growth and learning.

The PDF link is:

HERE

via Will Gad

http://willgadd.com/climbing-and-risk/

A Meditation on Now-ness

Where are you right now? I don’t mean a location, but rather where are you consciously right this very moment?

Recently, while climbing on holiday, I had time to ponder about the nature of my own existence; in particular, whom it is I think I am. I have often asked the same question of others while miffed about something or other but this time I flipped the rhetorical question on myself, “Who do you think you are?”

Philosophically speaking, I first think of what makes up the personality; our sensibilities, strengths, weaknesses, notions of progress, change, relapses etc.  Some would say that we are what we do, or some accumulation of that which thoughts and deeds, habits and conditioning have wrought upon us. It is the idea that who we are fundamentally stems from these series of conditions that doesn’t quite ring true. It is certain that our personal histories shape who we are, but what is at the center of this shape? Just like mathematics tries to define a surface or an object by defining its boundaries and dimensions, are we, in essence, the boundary conditions that help define us? By drawing lines and making shapes you, in a sense, create two ways for viewing the object; one by describing the framework of the object, and two, by delineating the framework from what it contains.  Using this approach it is easy to understand one side of the nature of the object without speaking to the other, the essence of what the object truly is, what the object contains.

Consider the nature of matter for example. A solid object has shape, mass, temperature, and is a conglomeration of smaller objects. This larger object is a sort of macrocosm of these smaller objects. Zoom in and we have a chemical compound that makes up the larger object as a piece of the whole.  Zoom in further and there is an atom that makes up the chemical compound. Further in, an atom is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Further still and these building blocks have their own building blocks, quarks leptons, and bosons. What exists in between all of these particles? Space? And if we continue to delve into the rabbit hole, at what point can we speak to the essence of being rather than the shapes and functions of the framework that define it?

Now apply this same line of reasoning to the self. Thoughts, deeds, habits, physical form etc. are just boundary conditions or limits that describe the object but merely bind the essence without actually speaking to it’s quality. Our being, it seems, is a microcosm of the macro universe described by the geometry of the physical only giving shape to the metaphysical without robbing it of its own ability, or agency, to define itself.

For lack of a better culprit, our consciousness is in essence who we are. It is not the thoughts that we think but rather out ability to think them that separates us from ourselves. Our consciousness is like water, free flowing and form fitting. In just the same way that our persona forms our consciousness by creating boundaries, our consciousness pushes back creating a reciprocal force I will label as focus. Focus is the muscle of the consciousness, or the tool for which is asserts its agency. Our focus gives direction to our consciousness. Or rather our focus is the malleable dish that holds the fluid of our consciousness. The characteristics of our focus give shape and form qualitatively to our thoughts and, thusly, our being molds to fit those thoughts in the present moment, defining who we are in the moment those thoughts are conceived.

Understanding this frees us to shape our own being by asserting our focus mindfully and continuously. Over time the patterns of our persona begin to mold themselves to the shape our mindfulness has created. This occurs in a process similar to the shaping of mountains and canyons, whose rock is hard and unyielding, by water, which is fluid and malleable.

There is only now. Even the thought of the future is a memory of what you thought a moment ago. Inevitably the future comes, however, in the form of Right Now. Be here now. You are only what you focus on in the present moment. The past has lost its permanence through mindfulness, and the future is just an illusion of memory.

Where are you right now, where are you consciously right this very moment?