Quantity VS Quality

We’ve all done it, turned our noses up when something presents itself as mundane, simple, ordinary or not glamorous enough for our tastes. Like the coffee snob who refuses to drink Folgers, the music snob who refuses to enjoy pop music, or the climber who refuses to climb the local choss-pile, we are all guilty to some extent of prejudices that deny us the ability to enjoy what has been placed in front of us in the Here and Now.

Now I’m not saying that it’s bad, at all, to have an opinion or a preference. The problem arises when, in light of being given the choice between what we consider sub-par and nothing, we express distaste, chose nothing, and then feel as if we are victims to not having had a better option. This circumstance is what I will call the [Snob experience].

Let me be the first to say that just because we may often have [Snob] we are not bad people, although [Snob] may make us feel bad. [Snob] is quite common and arises primarily from a mental trap of mismatching quality and quantity. (Based on the law of averages, half of all of our experiences will provide a basic situation that can lead to [Snob]). Because we are human beings who experience life sequentially we learn from experiences that one thing leads to another, cause and affect, if-then, sequential reasoning. As a result we use past experience to judge preferentially and make choices. Indeed, judicious choices are crucial for our own survival. The quantity of our experiences, however, leads us to continually desire higher and higher quality experiences.

Attachment to the quality of past experiences leads us to value the learning of the past so much that we place expectations on things. Think of a child who experiences eating a cookie for the first time. Exclamation! The novelty, the exquisite flavors, the sweetness, and the desirability of that cookie! It doesn’t matter what the quality of this cookie was at that time, all that matters to that child is the enjoyment in that moment. But now this experience will lead this child to judge the next cookie by the metric of past experience. This is where [Snob] begins. The metric of past experience can be both a tool, and crutch.

This metric system created from the quantity of experiences give us a strong cohesiveness to human experience through which we can navigate safely and securely. This gives rise to a progressive seeking of higher quality experience based on the quantity to which we’ve been exposed. What are we after? A better cup of coffee, better beer, a better job, better sex, a better thrill, you name it. Past experience is a great tool but the disadvantages of it are many; one, that it can give us a false sense of security leaving us vulnerable to spontaneity, two, it can quickly lead to a mental quality burnout like a drug addict who needs more and more to get the same effect, and three [Snob]. This is where the mental trap begins (if we get stuck in this mindset, the mental burnout will inevitably lead to a continually increasing number of our experiences that trigger [Snob]). 

One of my favorite movie quotes:

“...expect the unexpected. Right? Right? Always sounds like good advice. Except, of course, if you are expecting the unexpected, then well then it really isn't really unexpected anymore. Is it? And that leaves you vulnerable to the truly unexpected. Because, you're not expecting it.”

[Snob] happens primarily when we are rooted in the past. What makes [Snob] feel so bad is not the past experience but rather the desire for a better option. So quality and quantity are not even really at odds. It is the expectation that we deserve the greater quality than what is available that is inherently untrue and the source of our discomfort. We've unravelled the mental mismatch.

I feel that two realizations are important for us to overcome [Snob]. First, there are no ordinary moments. Everything that we experience can, and indeed does, teach us something about ourselves and about life. What that lesson is, is determined by the student and the accompanying attention and intention given to that moment. Every moment deserves our full attention and a desire to experience it fully. Better stated, we deserve to appreciate (in every sense of the word) the experience. (This is the truth which is usually confused in the [Snob] scenario. We do deserve to appreciate the experience presented to us, but we must choose to enjoy it, actively, instead of incorrectly thinking that because the quality is less than expected that we will not enjoy it). How we do this is by being grateful for the opportunity presented to us, and by adopting a beginner’s mind, like the child with their first cookie. So how do you truly expect the unexpected? By letting go of expectations, removing the word “should” from you vocabulary, realizing that you can’t change your circumstances but you can change yourself. This brings us to realization number two.

The second realization is that we are equal and opposite forces to the experiences that we engage in. Life doesn’t just happen to us, we happen to life. Using this knowledge empowers you to take control of your own attitude and seize the moment before it seizes you. If in a fit of [Snob] you feel that you deserve better than the option offered to you, ponder that perhaps it is you whom the option is better than. Finally, detach yourself from the past. Impose your positivity and appreciation on the present and determine to be the actor and not the acted upon.

Actively using these two realizations cuts through the illusion of a false sense of security, AND the accompanying dismay when we are wrong. This further frees us to embrace the moment, avoid quality burnout, and be free of the burden of [Snob]. If you find yourself relapsing into [Snob] (believe me, we all will), remember this lesson and remember that the [Snob] is already in the past, nothing prevents you from overcoming it right now.